我对今晚这儿的美女没啥兴趣 I am not impressed with\nthe talent in here tonight.
我喝的越多 她们越没吸引力 And the more I drink, the\nless attractive they get.
我是一杯远离了星战里的Cantina酒吧\n的威士忌苏打 I'm one scotch and soda away from\nthe Cantina scene in Star Wars.
那边的女孩咋样? 她们很辣 What about those girls\nover there? They're hot.
她们一点也不辣 They're not hot.
你开玩笑吧? Are you kidding?
看她们第一眼我就极度厌恶 I hated their guts\nthe second I saw them.
这就说明她们很辣 Which means they're hot.
事实上\n和我第一眼看到Robin时一样厌恶 In fact, I hated them almost as much\nas I hated Robin when I first met her.
- 你厌恶我?\n- 非常 - You hated me?\n- A lot.
Barney 她们很辣 Barney, they're hot.
我要好好教教你们几个 Oh, there is so much to teach you all.
你们只是拉拉队效应的... You have just become victims of...
受害者 The Cheerleader Effect.
很高兴你问我 Glad you asked.
拉拉队效应就是\n一帮女人只有从整体看才辣 The Cheerleader Effect is when a group\nof women seems hot but only as a group.
就像拉拉队一样 Just like with cheerleaders.
她们似乎很辣\n但单独看她们中的一个 They seem hot, but take each\none of them individually?
雪橇狗而已 Sled dogs.
太荒谬了 That's insane.
好好看看她们中的每一个 单独地 Take a good, hard look at each\none of those girls. Individually.
说不好 最后一个还有点可爱 I don't know. The one on\nthe end is kind of cute.
恩 确实是 Yeah, she really is.
所以 伙计们 这就是拉拉队效应 And that, my friends, is\n"The Cheerleader Effect."
也称为伴娘悖论 \n或者联谊会女生综合症 Also known as the Bridesmaid\nParadox, Sorority Girl Syndrome,
还有90年代中期很红的 and for a brief window in the mid\n-'90s,
辣妹组合效应 the Spice Girls Conspiracy.
她们可辣的我受不了啊 Scary Spice indeed.
Barney Stinson\nBarney Stinson.
好 知道了 Okay. Got it.
太好了 我们再联系 Great, we'll be in touch.
什么? What?
看样子我要做爸爸了 Apparently, I'm gonna be a dad.
老爸老妈浪漫史\n第四季 第7集 How I Met Your\nMother Season04 Episode07
你要做爸爸了是什么意思? What do you mean you're gonna be a dad?
怎么 怎么会? How did, how did this happen?
是我前几个星期上过的妞 It was just some girl I hooked\nup with a few weeks back.
她不确定 早上要去看了医生才知道 She's not sure. She's gonna go\nto the doctor in the morning.
可能搞错了 可能她没怀孕 Maybe it's a false alarm.\nMaybe she's not pregnant.
Lily 无论是Barney Stinson哪个部分\n他的成功率都不会少于110% Lily, no part of Barney Stinson\ndoes anything less than 110%.
如果我的一个极速小精子杀出了重围 If one of my little\nMichael Phelpses got loose,
他就会游向黄金之地 he's swimming for the gold.
这是噩梦 我不想要小孩 Oh, this is a nightmare.\nI don't want kids.
哪个精神正常的人会要孩子? Who in their right mind\nwould ever want kids?
当你30岁了 结了婚 奇怪的事就发生了 Now, when you turn 30 and you're in\na couple, a strange thing happens.
你开始注意到到处都是孩子 You start to see babies everywhere.
饶了我吧 Oh, come on.
是的 Marshall和Lily对孩子着了魔 Yes, Marshall and Lily were\ncoming down with baby fever.
他们的新邻居更是助长了他们 And their new neighbors weren't helping.
你把袜子丢这儿了吗 小伙计? Did you lose a sock there, little dude?
毫无疑问这是我看到过的最可爱的东西了 That is without a doubt the\ncutest little thing I've ever seen.
我的小宝贝 There's my little peanut.
那天晚上 他们认真讨论了要孩子的事 That night they sat down to have a serious\npractical discussion about having kids.
所以 如果我们要孩子 So, if we have a baby,
你认为你的工作时间能短点吗? do you think you could work fewer hours?
没关系 他肯定可爱的不行了 Doesn't matter--\nhe's gonna be so cute,
第一天我就想把他吞下去 I'm gonna eat him up on the first day.
好 但是钱怎么办? 我们还有一屁股债 Okay. But, but what about money?\nWe're still in a ton of debt.
我们用他的小手指数我们逾期未付的帐单 Oh, well, we'll count our overdue\nbills on his teenie tiny fingers.
让我们生个娃吧 Let's have a baby.
现在? 好吧 Oh, oh, right now? Oh, okay.
但有个家伙妨碍了他们 There was just one thing in their way.
Scooch演完了 我把它录下来了 Scooch over. I TiVo'd The View.
这家伙没工作还睡在他们沙发上 And that thing happened to be\nunemployed and sleeping on their couch.
Robin你工作和房子找的咋样了? So, Robin, um, how's the job\nand apartment search going?
你没听说吗? Oh, you didn't hear?
我是CNN的主播 I'm the lead anchor on CNN.
我有一套金子做的豪华公寓鸟瞰中央公园 And I got a penthouse overlooking\nCentral Park made of gold.
你搞搞清楚 Marshall Get your head out of your ass, Marshall.
他们意识到如果他们要开始家庭生活 They realized if they were\ngoing to start a family
他们不得不事先计划 they had to plan ahead.
Robin 你介意明晚睡在Ted那儿吗? So, Robin,would you mind\ncrashing at Ted's tomorrow night?
我要给Marshall做一顿特别的晚餐 I'm, uh, cooking\nMarshall a special dinner.
就仅仅是晚餐 没别的了 Just dinner. That's it. Nothing else.
好吧 但你最好别急躁到\n逼我往屋顶上扔啤酒罐 Fine. But you'd better not be as uptight as these\nidiots about me shooting beer cans on the roof.
弄痛我耳朵了 "Oh,it hurts my ears."
邻居叫警察了 你几乎砸中我了 "The neighbors called the\ncops. You almost hit me."
忍忍她吧 Ted 她现在是非常时期 Enjoy her, Ted. She's in a\nreal good place right now.
上帝? 是我Barney 什么事? God? It's me. Barney. What up?
我知道我们不咋地说话 I know we don't talk much,
虽然因为我的关系\n许多女孩呼唤你的名字 though a lot of girls call\nout your name because of me.
棒极了 Awesome.
但 上帝 But, God...
如果你能使我摆脱这困境 if you could get me out of this,
我发誓我将永远永远永远永远永远不... I swear I will never ever,\never, ever, ever, ever, ever...
等下哥们 我是Barney Ooh, hang on, bro. Go for Barney.
真的? Really?
Marshall 好消息! 我不是爸爸! Marshall, great news! I'm not a father!
恭喜你 哥们 Congratulations, buddy.
这是我一生中最快乐的时刻 Marshall This is the happiest\nmoment of my life, Marshall.
没有孩子的感觉? The way I feel about not having kids?
我从不知道我会那么喜欢一样东西 I never knew I could\nlove something this much.
所以我要发明一个节日 That's why I'm creating a holiday.
从现在开始 今天将成为不是爸爸节 From now on, today will be\nknown as "Not a Father's Day."
你发明了一个节日? You're creating a holiday?
恩 为啥不呢? 别人都有节日 Yeah, why not? Everyone else gets a day:
母亲节 父亲节 巴士底狱解放日 Mothers, Fathers, Bastilles.
为啥不能有\n喜欢单生生活的单身汉节日呢? Why can't there be a day for people\nwho are single and like it that way?
现在你就像情人节里的花痴肥妞 Well, now you just sound like the\nchubby girl on Valentine's Day.
你好 Stinson Hello, Stinson.
你好 Nolan 孩子们咋样? Hey, Nolan.How are the kids?
你今晚作好准备 Eriksen \n大动作的合并啊 You ready for tonight,\nEriksen? Big merger.
那是我和我老婆的"合并" Well, that's between\nme and my wife, sir.
不 我说的是今晚和李先生开会 No. The meeting with Mr. Li. Tonight.
我想 我想那应该是早餐会议 I thought, I thought that\nwas a breakfast meeting.
是 中国的早餐 我们和中国人开电视会议 \n我就指望你了 孩子 It is. Breakfast in China. We're teleconferencing\nwith the Chinese. I'm counting on you, kid.
Marshall?\nMarshall?
嘿 亲爱的 是中国的早餐时间了 Hey, babe. It's breakfast time in China.
是的 Yeah, it is.
一点也不委婉 听着 我\n等下 那是啥意思? Not a euphemism. Look, I...\nWait, what would that even mean?
我不知道 热辣臀部 香辣的猪肉?\n反正有好东西 你今晚不回来了 是吧? I don't know, hot buns, spicy pork? There's something\nthere. You're not coming home tonight, are you?
你在摇头说不吗? Are you shaking your head "no?"
我想是的 I thought so.
谢谢你们来的那么快 Oh, thank you, guys,\nfor coming over so fast.
你还好吧? 电话里你听上去很不安 Are you all right? You\nsounded upset on the phone.
Marshall和我\n做了吃 "晚餐" 的重大决定 Marshall and I made this big\ndecision to have... dinner.
我想我准备好吃 "晚餐"了 And I thought I was ready\nto-to have... dinner.
但是他打电话给我说取消了\n于是我就开始想 But then he called and\ncanceled, and it got me thinking.
我们是不是太早吃 "晚餐" 了? Is it too early for\nus to have... dinner?
我午餐吃得蛮早 \n反正我是准备好吃晚餐了 Well, I had an early lunch,\nso I'm ready for dinner.
晚餐是指孩子! Dinner is a baby!
Lily 太恐怖了! Lily, that's horrible!
不不 我要你们帮我解决件事 No, no, I, I need you guys to\nfigure something out for me.
什么事? What?
Marshall和我做好要孩子的准备了吗? Are Marshall and I ready to have a baby?
Marshall和我是不是做好要孩子的准备了? Marshall and I ready\nto have a baby or not?
Lily 我们不能帮你做这个决定\n它太重大了 Lily, we can't make this\ndecision for you.It's huge.
你知道还有什么东西大吗?\nMarshall的脑袋 You know what else is\nhuge? Marshall's head.
足有八月底西瓜那么大 That thing's the size of\na late August watermelon.
Marshall的孩子从那里出来吗? Marshall's baby coming through there?
真牛! Yowza!
Marshall咋想? What does Marshall think?
他那颗好像顶着上世纪50年代\n宇航员头盔的脑袋里想的肯定不少 Probably a lot in that 1950s space\nhelmet of a head he's walking around with.
Marshall很兴奋 Marshall's really excited.
但是我想他只看见了拥有孩子后\n美好的一面 而没看见艰难的一面 But I think he only sees what's cute about\nhaving a baby, not what's hard about it.
前几天Marshall和宝宝Jeremy玩的时候 Like the other day, while Marshall\nwas playing with baby Jeremy,
我和Jeremy的妈妈在聊天 I was talking to Jeremy's mom.
谢谢请我们过来 Thanks so much for inviting us over.
我已经好象几个礼拜\n没和别的成年人说过话了 I have not talked to another\nadult in, like, weeks.
包括我那口子 除了 "轮到你换尿布了" Well, besides my husband. But\n"It's your turn to change him"
和 "让他别哭了" 这些算不上谈话 and "Make him shut up" really\ndoesn't count as conversation.
不好意思 我话多了点 我已经7个月\n没和他上过床了 我刚刚又说过头了 Sorry, I'm rambling. I haven't gotten laid\nin seven months. Oh, I just did it again!
睡眠被剥夺! Sleep deprivation!
等下 我不是在哭 是吧?\n通常我是... 我不是故意抱怨 Oh, wait, I'm not crying, am I? I\nusually am. I don't mean to complain.
我感觉很差! 我可爱的小花生\n我太爱你了 Oh, now I feel bad! Oh, there's my\nlittle peanut! Oh, I love you so much!
我得像Charlotte那样坚强\n也许得更坚强一些 I'm going to be as strung out\nas Charlotte. Worse actually.
至少她那口子是在家工作 At least her husband works from home.
我的意思是 他是个卖锅的\n但他是个非常负责的家长 I mean, he's a pot dealer, but\nhe's a very involved parent.
Marshall会是个好爸爸的 Marshall will be a great dad.
Marshall总是在办公室 Marshall's always at the office,
我怕如果我们现在有了孩子 and, and I'm afraid that\nif we have a baby now,
那所有事情都要我来干 all the work will fall on me.
你只是有点慌乱 只看到消极的一面 You're just panicking and\nfocusing on the downside.
我觉得Lily很现实 I think Lily's just being realistic.
看吧 很好 所以我叫你们两个都过来 See, this is good. This is why\nI called you guys both over here.
Ted 你是正方 Robin 你是反方 Ted, you're pro kids.\nRobin, you're against.
顾问们 开始陈述 Counselors, opening statements.
我知道你怕你没准备好 Okay, I know you're afraid\nthat you're not ready.
但是人们总觉得还准备不足\n你放手去做就好了 But no one ever thinks they're ready.\nYou-you just have to take the leap.
自然而然的就变成了父母 Parenthood will come naturally.
当然 你觉得是自然而然的 Well, of course you\nthink it comes naturally.
你基本上就是个老爸了 You're basically a dad already.
绝对的爸爸 You're a total dad.
你们在说啥? What are you talking about?
Ted 想想吧 Ted,think about it.
你说的那些超级庸俗的爸爸笑话 You tell super corny dad jokes.
碎掉的吱吱声! Shredded tweet!
伙计们! 碎掉的吱吱声 Oh, man! Shredded tweet.
你教育我们\n当我们打破你一个瓶子里烂船 You lecture us. Like when we\nbroke your stupid ship in a bottle.
我没有生气 我只是对你们很失望 I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed.
- 她干的!\n- 闭嘴! - She did it!\n- Shut up!
你干了所有爸爸都会对服务生做的事 And you do that thing all\ndads do with waitresses.
你们好 我是Lori\n我是你们今晚的服务生 Hi, I'm Lori. I'll be\nyour waitress this evening.
你好 Lori 我是Ted\n我是你今晚的顾客 Hi, Lori, I'm Ted. I'll be\nyour customer this evening.
嘿 Lori 你走之前 告诉我\n拿除草机从金丝雀身上碾过去会怎样? Hey, Lori, before you go, tell me, what do you\nget when you cross a canary with a lawn mower?
不准提示 不准提示 No hints.No hints.
她是对的 Ted 你单身没有孩子\n但你已经完全是个傻瓜爸爸了 She's right. Ted, you maybe single and\nchildless, but you're totally a dorky dad.
我不喜欢你的语气 小姑娘 I don't think I like\nyour tone, young lady.
Marshall 不是爸爸节 Marshall, Not a Father's Day is a hit!
Laraby和Finklestein在帮我庆祝 看看 Laraby and Finklestein are\nhelping me celebrate. Check it.
世界第一不是爸爸马克杯 World's Greatest Not A Dad mugs.
这是 哈! "谁不是你爸爸"T恤 There's, uh... ha! Who's\nNot Your Daddy? T-shirts.
都在不是爸爸节.com上买得到 Both available at Not\nA Father's Day.Com.
看看这贺卡 Oh, check out the greeting cards.
为了每件你为自己做的事\n为了所有你酒柜上的威士忌 "For everything you do for yourself,For\nall the scotch upon your shelf,"
你的保时捷Carrera主宰着高速公路\n祝愿你拥有美好的"三人行"之夜 "Your Porsche Carrera rules the freeway,Here's\nwishing you an all night three-way."
不是爸爸节快乐 Happy Not a Father's Day."
看看插图 不不 Check out the illustration. No, no.
看起来跟个亚裔妓女一样 It appears to be some\nsort of Asian hooker.
没错 为了庆祝不是爸爸节 Yes. Because on Not a Father's Day,
泰国舞女如影随形啦 you get a Thai you'd actually wear.
俏皮话大闯关! Wordplay five!
她可是一拳击中你要害咯 Mosby She's really kicking\nyour ass here, Mosby.
我看你得采用驳倒对方的方式反击了 Your only hope is to go negative.
好吧 Okay.
我来告诉你为什么我的对手会有如此论断 I'll tell you why my\nopponent is saying all this.
三个字:恐娃症 Three words: scared of babies.
什么? 太荒谬了 我才没有呢 What? That is crazy.I am not.
哦 真的? Oh, yeah?
记得你遇到我表姐和她的宝宝的那次吗? Remember that time you\nmet my cousin and her kid?
哦 她真可爱啊! Oh, she is so cute!
哦 你想抱抱吗? Oh, do you want to hold her?
还有Lily给她朋友Erika办的新生儿派对? Or the baby shower Lily\nthrew for her friend Erika?
你在让宝宝闻你的手吗? Are you leing that baby sniff you?
我可不想她咬我 I don't want to get bitten.
还有别忘了... And don't forget about...
- 宝宝脱口秀广告?\n- 宝宝脱口秀广告 - Talking baby commercial?\n- Talking baby commercial.
但你不同 Lily But you're not like that, Lily.
你爱孩子 孩子也爱你 You love kids and they love you.
没错 我确实讨人喜欢\n既漂亮又聪明 光这些有什么用啊? Yes, I'm loveable, pretty\nand wise, but is it enough?
瞧 实际上这只关于一个人:你 Look, it all comes\ndown to one word: you.
你打算放弃自己的梦想了? Are you ready to put your\nown dreams on the back burner?
去美术研究院 或者教大学生级别的美术? Grad school, teaching\nart at the college level?
瞧 Lily 在你开始宝贝计划之前\n首先得有自己的Lily计划 Look, you need to focus on Project\nLily before you can start Project Baby.
如果不是这样的话 \n你会经常反悔的 If you don't, you'll always regret it.
那样对你和孩子都是不公平的 And that wouldn't be\nfair to you or the baby.
这是啥啊? What's that?
这是Jeremy的小袜子 It's Jeremy's sock.
我要生宝宝 I'm having a baby.
但我刚才说的那些话你听进去了吗? But what about all\nthe things I just said?
但是 但是 小袜子耶 But, but sock.
那么Marshall整天工作的事呢? But what about Marshall\nworking all the time?
但是 小袜子耶 But sock.
但是 Lily你自己的计划呢! But, but Project Lily!
上面还有小鱼耶 Little fishies on it.
我们做这番争论 We made all of these arguments,
还抵不过一只袜子 \n它让你做出决定? and a sock is what makes\nyour decision for you?
我想这就是袜子冲击波的威力吧\n对吧 Robin? I guess that was the\nsock-out punch, huh, Robin?
闭嘴 老爹 Shut up, Dad.
你才闭嘴 恐娃症的 You shut up, baby hater.
宝宝很恐怖的 好吧? Babies are scary, okay?
他们老睁着大眼睛 They have giant eyes.
还有 拜托 脑袋后面所谓不能碰的"软点"? And then, come on, the soft spot?
如果这是自毁按钮 If there's gonna be a\nself-destruct button,
至少也长点什么盖着\n不那么容易被碰到嘛 at least hide it somewhere it\nwon't accidentally get pressed.
Lily哪去了? Where's Lily?
嘿 你喝了这个吗? Hey, did you drink any of this?
- 一滴未喝\n- 我也没喝 - Not a drop.\n- Me, neither.
Eriksen 五分钟会开会 Eriksen, meeting in five minutes.
你最好把你A策划拿给李先生看看 And you'd better bring\nyour A-game for Mr. Li.
那家伙就是我的噩梦啊 That guy haunts my nightmares.
不管怎么说 去倒腾吧 小子 Anyway, have fun out there, kid.
给我播种吧 Marshall 我准备好了 Put a baby in me, Marshall. I'm ready.
Lily... Lily 你在这干嘛啊? Lily... Lily, what are you doing here?
我准备好了 Marshall\n就是今晚了 I'm ready, Marshall.\nTonight's the night.
把你那西瓜头的种子\n产到我肚子里去吧 Put your melon-headed\nspawn in my belly.
什么? What?
耶! 来嘛 趁现在啊 让我生孩子吧\n我准备好了 嘿 看啊 Yeah!Come on, right now. Baby\nme. I'm ready. Oh, hey, look.
隔壁楼的那些家伙们向我挥手呢 The guys in the next\nbuilding are waving at me.
先生们 大家好! Hello, gentlemen!
我们要开始造人啦! We're going to make a baby!
我真不敢相信\n竟然跟丢她了 I can't believe we lost her.
瞧 这就是为什么我决不生小孩 See, this is exactly why\nI'm never having kids.
你一秒钟不盯着他们都不行 You can't let them out of\nyour sight for even a second.
我找不到我的文件了 I can't find my file.
我把A到G都找出来了 I pulled out "A" through "G."
他们只会坐在那里抱着奶瓶 They just sit there with\ntheir stupid bottles.
他们还哭闹 They cry.
他们还呕吐 They spit up.
这就是孩子让人讨厌的原因 And that's why kids suck.
哇 看来我们分手了还真是好事啊 Wow, it is a good thing we broke up.
我都忘了 \n一谈起孩子你就神经质了 I forgot how totally psycho\nyou are on the kids thing.
我神经质? I'm psycho?
每次你听到"孩子"这个词啊 Any time you even hear the word "kids,"
你好像都时刻准备着要做奶爸一样 you get two little lactation\nstains on your shirt.
老天爷啊 \n多亏你没有孩子 Thank God you're not a mom.
你就是个冷血师太啊 You are such an ice queen.
被你养大的孩子啊 \n估计也都是脑残 Any baby nursing from you\nwould get brain freeze.
瞧 别想把我损成特立独行怪胎 Look, don't paint me as some sort of a\nfreak for wanting to remain independent.
石阶上有许多不想要孩子的正常人 There are plenty of normal people\nout there who don't want to have kids.
伙计 把你的手放在这避孕套盒子上\n跟着我起誓 Brother, lay your hand on this\nbox of condoms and repeat after me.
我 然后说你给娘们介绍自己时用的化名 I, state the fake\nname you give to women.
我 Johnny Banana I, Johnny Banana.
发誓 将永远选择湿的T-恤胜于湿的尿布\n发誓 永远... Vow to always choose wet T-shirts\nover wet diapers. Vow to always...
对哇 你们阵容强大啊 Yeah, you're in great company there.
我去洗手间看看Lily在不在 I'm gonna look for Lily in the bathroom.
到时给你带个内置棉条回来吧 While I'm in there,\nI'll grab you a tampon.
不错 不错 那么你在小便池上抖擞完了后 Great.Great, and when you're\ndone shaking off at the urinal,
也许你可以叫巫师给你安个心脏 maybe you could ask the\nwizard to give you a heart.
你知道吗? 我看我这周得找别的地方住了 You know what? Maybe I should find\nsomewhere else to stay this weekend.
- 我没异议\n- 很好 - No argument here.\n- Fine.
很好 Great.
欢迎加入我们不为人父兄弟会 Welcome to our fraternity\nof non-paternity.
他也是我们的一员了 He is one of us.
先生们 李先生 Gentlemen, Mr. Li,
请你们打开手头文件的第五页\n我想说... if you would all please open to page five\nof your merger documents. I think the...
怎么啦 Eriksen? What is it, Eriksen?
没事 \n我只是觉得你今天看起来...很不错 Nothing. I just think that\nyou look... very nice today.
你瞧什么呢? What are you looking at?
我瞧见我们的未来宏图... I am looking at the future...
我们两家公司的未来 \n看起来非常...显露无"衣" of our two companies, and\nit looks very... naked.
抱歉 我出去小会 好吗? Would you excuse me\njust for a brief second?
你们都没瞧见那个醉酒小妞吗? Did anyone else see the drunk chick?
嘿 你们不需这么客气... Hey, you guys didn't have to...
是我的照片 无孩子版的 It's a picture of me with no kids.
相框边上还贴着通心粉哎 And there's macaroni glued on the frame.
伙计们 我爱死它了 Guys, I love it.
嗯 Lily不在那 Well, Lily's not in there.
刚你电话响了 我接了\n希望你别介意 Your phone rang. I answered\nit. I hope you don't mind.
Marshall找到Lily了 她没事 Marshall's got Lily.She's fine.
哦 谢天谢地 Oh, thank God.
什么? What?
当我把你手机放回的时候\n在你的包里找到了些东东 When I was putting your phone back,\nand, uh, I found something in your bag.
我保证 那可不违法 I have a permit for that.
另外那个...只是个礼物 And the other thing was a gift.
不是的 是这个 No. This.
你偷偷拿走了Jeremy小袜子 You stole Jeremy's sock.
不 我才没有 No, I didn't.
我也不知道这怎么来的 \n可能刚好掉进包里的吧 白痴! I don't know how that got in\nthere. It must've fallen in. Weird!
掉进包里的? Fallen in?
或者是Lily跟我开玩笑放进去的吧\n那婊子喝醉了 Or Lily put it in there as\na joke. That bitch be drunk.
好吧 是我拿的 \n它真的是...很可爱 Okay, I took it. It's just... so cute.
小袜子耶 Sock.
Robin Scherbatsky 你那不生孩子的铁心开始溶化啦? Robin Scherbatsky, are you warming\nto the idea of having children?
没有 我不知道 以后也许吧 No. I don't know. Maybe someday.
当我 70岁那天\n科技会让我无所不能 When I'm, like, 70.\nScience will catch up.
瞧 我只是... 我最近很迷茫啊\n我失业了 我寄居沙发一角 Look, I'm just... I'm confused lately.\nI'm unemployed. I'm living on a couch.
没错 我们这几个月都不好过呢 Yeah. It's been a rough couple\nof months for both of us.
嘿 我还有间空房 Hey, I have a spare bedroom.
既然找房 为什么不搬来跟我住? Why don't you stay with me\nwhile you look for a place?
- 真的?\n- 没错 - Really?\n- Yeah.
谢谢你 Ted 我已经在着手找了\n可能打扰你一周 最多两周 Thanks, Ted. I already have some leads,\nso it'll be one week, two weeks tops.
这就是你们的Robin阿姨\n搬来和我住的全过程啦 And that's how your Aunt\nRobin moved in with me.
好无聊哦 我们来跳舞吧 I'm bored. Let's go dancing.
哦 咱去打劫烟酒店吧! Oh, let's rob a liquor store!
Lily 我们哪儿也不去 好吗? Lily, we're not going anywhere, okay?
每次你酒醉时 无论我们想去哪 Whenever we go somewhere\nwhen you're drunk,
只要我们一坐进... 你立马倒头大睡 you always fall asleep as\nsoon as we get in the...
我们去跳舞啦! We're going dancing!
我们整晚都在晚会上疯 We're gonna party all night long!
嘿 你能不能就绕着街道转几圈\n让我确定她睡过去了? Hey, can you circle the block a couple\ntimes just to make sure she's really down?
没问题 Sure thing.
最新的不是爸爸节快乐的头脑风暴来啦: Latest Not A Father's Day brainstorm:
早孕测试棒 不用蓝线表示的 a pregnancy test, but instead\nof a little, blue line,
而是做成小小的蓝色的Barney头像 \n就像这样 there's a little, blue\nBarney going like this.
Barney 不是爸爸节是个狗P节日 Barney, Not A Father's Day is lame.
专为失败者准备的节日 It's a holiday for losers.
你这是...? 你这是什么意思? What are you...? What're\nyou talking about?
我们那快活的弟兄们多着呢 That's a great group of bros.
Barney 这就是拉拉队效应 Barney, it's the Cheerleader Effect.
呣 不是的 Ted Uh, no, Ted.
那只对小妞们管用 That only works for chicks.
你好好的观察下他们每一个人 单独的 Take a good look at each one\nof those guys individually.
那些家伙并不是甘愿不要孩子的 伙计 These geniuses are not\nchildless by choice, my friend.
- 晚安 Barney\n- 晚安 - Good night, Barney.\n- Good night.
袜子 Sock.
有巧克力片薄饼的味道? Do I smell chocolate chip pancakes?
不是 你该闻到"巧克力片我很抱歉 \n我是个白痴酒鬼"薄饼的味道 No, you smell "Chocolate chip I'm sorry\nI was such a drunk idiot" pancakes.
哦 是否还有一丝\n"希望我没吐到你衣服上"的培根味道啊? Oh, is there any "Wish I hadn't\npuked on your shirt" bacon?
当然有啊 There sure is.
宝贝... Baby...
昨晚的事 我很抱歉\n我知道我惹事了 I'm so sorry about last\nnight. I know I was a mess.
我... \n我只是不知道我们是否准备好了为人父母而抓狂 I... I just started freaking out about\nwhether we're ready to be parents.
但是你那么照顾我 But you took such good care of me.
我知道你肯定会是个好爸爸 I know you're gonna be a great dad.
- 我现在不想当爸爸\n- 什么? - I don't want to be a dad right now.\n- What?
昨晚上 在兼顾工作与照顾酒醉Lily婴儿之间 Last night, it was just... Between\nbalancing work and drunk Baby Lily,
就够我受得了 it was too much.
我才刚工作 I'm just getting started at this job,
我工作时间那么长 \n我的意思是... and I'm working such\nlong hours, I mean...
瞧 我爱你 Look, I love you.
我也很想哪天能有孩子 And I absolutely want\nto have kids someday.
我只是... 我想为这天做好准备 I just... I want to be ready for it.
我也是 Me, too.
到我们都准备好的时候 And whenever we are ready,
我知道你一定会很棒的 I know you're going to be amazing.
你也是 You, too.
嘿 想不想来场安全措施做足的性爱啊? Hey, do you want to go have\ncompletely protected sex right now?
当然 I do.
你想先吃完培根吗? Do you want to finish your bacon first?
你真是个完美太太 You are the perfect woman.
*摇篮里的猫咪和银汤匙啊* And the cat's in the\ncradle and the silver spoon
*小男孩好伤心 \n爸爸去得那么远* Little Boy Blue and the Man on the Moon
*爸爸 你何时归哦?\n "不知归期"* When you comin' home,\nDad? "I don't know when"
*我们定会重逢 儿子* We'll get together then, son
*从此幸福快乐的生活* I'll know we'll have a good time then.