啊啊 Lily\n我今天上班听到了一个好玩的笑话 Ah, Ah, Lily, I heard this\ngreat joke at work today.
得了 伙计 她不会喜欢听的 Dude, come on. She's not gonna like it.
是男人间的笑话\n不是女人的 It's boy-funny.\nIt's not girl-funny.
性别歧视! 笑话就是笑话 Ted That is sexist! Funny is funny, Ted.
Lily很酷 她会喜欢的 Lily's cool.She'll appreciate this .
哦 后果自负啊 伙计 Oh, you're on your own, man.
快告诉我什么笑话 Just tell me the joke.
好的 听好了? Okay. Ready?
Lily 花生酱和果酱有什么区别? Lily, what's the difference\nbetween peanut butter and jam?
- 瞧 有趣吧?\n- 男人间笑话 - See? It's funny.\n- It's boy-funny.
她不会喜欢的 She's not gonna like it.
- 让我自己判断 好吧?\n- 不 - Why don't you let me decide?\n- No.
花生酱和果酱有什么区别? What's the difference\nbetween peanut butter and jam?
然后Barney"口吐连珠" And then Barney said the punch line.
直到今天 \n这仍是我听过的最恶心的笑话 To this day, it's still the dirtiest\njoke I've ever heard in my life.
哦不 我不会讲给你们听的 And no, I'm not gonna say it.
好吧 我再也不会和你出来玩了 Yeah, I can't hang out with you anymore.
哦 不要嘛 只是个好玩的笑话... Oh, come on. That's\na funny joke. That...
警告过你了 Told you.
她会回来的 She'll be back.
其后4周我们都再也没有见过Lily\n(生BB去了~) And we didn't see Lily for four weeks.
老爸老妈浪漫史\n第四季第20集 How I Met Your\nMother Season04 Episode20
孩子们 被炒了以后\n我开始追寻自己终生的梦想: Kids, after getting laid off, I was\nfinay pursuing my lifelong dream:
创办自己的建筑设计公司 starting my own architecture firm.
我急需的是客户 All I needed was some clients.
Ted 看到你独闯天下 真是太棒了 I think it's so great that you're\nstriking out on your own, Ted.
- 我很佩服 \n- 多谢 - I admire that.\n- Thanks.
还有 谢谢你跟我合租 处得愉快 And, uh, thanks for being so\ncool with me using the apartment.
哦 没错 有啥需要帮忙就说 Oh, yeah, of course. Anything you need.
嘿 一件小事-- \n你不介意工作时间不看电视吧? Hey, small thing-- do you mind not\nwatching television during business hours?
这样可不行! This isn't working!
对不起 只是... 播放"幸运轮盘"节目时\n我就会分心... I'm sorry. It's just, I... I can't\nconcentrate while Wheel of Fortune is...
省一分就是赚一分! 答对了!\n(Penny Marshall是电影演员) A penny saved is a Penny Marshall! Yes!
Ted 我知道你很紧张 \n但是你不能再耽误时间了 Ted, I know you're nervous, but\nyou've got to stop procrastinating.
过去两天里 你都把时间浪费在\n为Mosbius设计公司挑选办公用笔上了 You've spent the last two days choosing\nthe official pen of Mosbius Designs.
嘿 我可是有进展的 对吧? Hey, I've made some progress, huh?
我已排除了记号笔 I've eliminated felt-tip.
哦 开什么玩笑呢\n现在还有人用记号笔? Oh, who am I kidding?\nFelt's back in the ballgame.
你听说了吗 又要裁员了? You hear there's gonna be more layoffs?
我知道 我...怕得要死 I know. I'm f... I'm freaking out.
- 你担心吗?\n- 开什么玩笑? - Are you worried?\n- Aryou kidding?
关于这家公司我最清楚的事 The things I know about this company.
就是我不会被炒 I won't ever be fired.
我是说 即便有可能某天我会漂上海岸\n牙齿被拔光 指纹被抹掉 I mean, there's a pretty good chance one day I'll\nwash up on shore with no fingerprints or teeth,
但我绝不会被炒 but I won't be fired.
好吧 但愿我能像你一样自信 Well, I wish I had your confidence.
听着 你需要点玩意来让自己变得不可或缺 Look, you just need a way to make\nyourself absolutely essential.
我-我比同部门的人都更拼命工作 Well, I-I work harder\nthan anyone in my division.
没错 但是拼命工作并不能保住工作 Yeah. Keeping your job has\nnothing to do with hard work.
- 你需要点玩意 \n- 你是什么意思 玩意? - You need a thing.\n- What do you mean, a thing?
你知道 就是使你自己变得风趣 讨人喜欢 \n就比如Marcus Denisco You know, something that makes you fun\nand well-liked, like Marcus Denisco.
Marcus Denisco是客户服务部门的人\n是本公司最无足轻重的小喽啰 Marcus Denisco worked in account services and was\nperhaps the most expendable employee at the company.
我买了些甜甜圈\n这看起来太傻了 I brought some donuts.\nThey're probably stupid.
但是最后 他变成了人尽皆知的... But eventually, he\ncame to be known as...
美食小子! Food Guy!
谁想吃猪肉卷?\n你想吃! 来吧! Who wants some pulled pork?\nOf course you do! Come on!
我喜欢美食小子 I love Food Guy.
他们不会炒了他的 They could never lay him off.
你知道我为什么喜欢美食小子吗? You know what I love about Food Guy?
- 他总有好吃的\n- 他总有好吃的 - He always has food.\n- He always has food.
看到了吧? 这就是你需要的 See? That's what you need.
你需要使你变成一个特殊男的玩意 You need that thing\nthat makes you a guy.
哦 我当然有作为一个男人的那玩意 Oh, I have that thing\nthat makes me a guy.
甚至超了 是一个半男人呢 Maybe even a guy and a half.
不是那玩意 你知道的 一种东西 \n比如玩具小子的那种 Not that thing. You know,\na thing. Like Toy Guy.
伙计们 坏消息 Guys, bad news.
作为你们的人事代表 \n我要给你们重讲一遍新的加班条例 As your HR rep, I got to review the\nnew overtime scheduling policy with you.
好消息是我们戴着金刚狼爪来讲! The good news is we're gonna do\nit while wearing Wolverine claws!
第五条:加班不再支付1.5倍薪水 Section 5A: Overtime will no\nlonger be paid at time and a half.
- 太棒了!\n- 第五抓! - This is awesome!\n- Claw five!
哦 我喜欢玩具小子 Oh, I love Toy Guy.
看到了吧? 你需要点玩意\n就像是YouTube剪辑小子 See? You need a thing.\nLike YouTube Clip Guy.
你说的没错 You're right.
我确实需要点特殊玩意 I do need a thing.
但可别选错了 But choose wisely.
你可不能当那种猥琐揉背男 You don't want to be\nCreepy Back Rub Guy.
嘿 别吃太饱 \n美食小子办公室里还有好多奶油布丁 Hey, don't fill up. Food Guy's\ngot panna cotta in his office.
嘿 伙计 Hey, buddy.
嘿 Douglas Hey, Douglas.
你可真结实啊 You're so tight.
我2秒钟之前放松了一下 I was, uh, relaxed\nabout two seconds ago.
下一个轮到你 You're next.
欢迎光临Mosbius设计公司 Welcome to Mosbius Designs.
你是谁? Who the hell are you?
我是PJ Mosby先生的助理 I'm PJ, Mr. Mosby's assistant.
- Ted 这到底怎么回事?\n- 对不起 - Ted, what the hell is going on?\n- I'm sorry.
在Mosby先生思考的时候\n我们不能打扰他 We do not interrupt Mr. Mosby\nduring his brainstorming hour.
没事的 PJ 这是Robin\n她住这儿 It's okay, PJ. That's\nRobin. She lives here.
哦 很抱歉打扰你了先生 Oh, I'm sorry for the disturbance, sir.
你还需要什么服务吗? Do you need anything else?
- 恩 我不介意来杯咖啡 \n- 你就坐在那里! - Well, I wouldn't say no to a cup of coffee.\n- You're right there!
现在Ted雇了个助理 却毛事都不干 So now Ted has an assistant\nto help him not do anything.
嘿 PJ可是帮了我大忙的\n建立办公室 组建网站 Hey, PJ's been a huge help to me, setting\nup the office, designing the Web site.
相对的 \n我给予这个上进的年轻人一些指导 And in return, I'm mentoring\na bright young mind.
啊 没错 指导 Ah, yes, the mentoring.
我今天希望你能出去 ... I want you to go outside\ntoday and simply...
去触摸感受下建筑 好吧? put your hands on buildings. All right?
感受混凝土建筑的脉搏 倾听... Feel the concrete pulse. Listen...
倾听那些砖石告诉你的故事 Listen to the stories the\nstones are telling you.
- 顺便给我把干洗的衣服取回来\n- 我会的 - And pick up my dry cleaning.\n- I will.
- 非常谢谢您 Mosby先生\n- 好的 - Thank you so much, Mr. Moy.\n- All right.
嘿 Ted? Hey, Ted?
这张桌子跟我说你还真是够混的 This table just told me you're a douche.
这种所谓的指导 其实就是另一种\n拖延时间不去打电话找客户的方法 This whole mentoring thing is just another way\nto procrastinate from actually calling clients.
我没有拖延时间 我只是 ... I'm not procrastinating. I just...
我想事事完美 好吧? I want everything to be perfect, okay?
我只有一次机会 I only get one shot at this.
好吧 但是PJ可帮不上什么忙 Fine, but PJ is not helping.
如果Ted说PJ对公司来说很重要\n那么PJ就留定了 If Ted says that PJ is important to the\ncompany, then PJ is not going anywhere.
听到了吧? 他很有价值 See? He's very valuable.
PJ是男的? PJ's a guy?
PJ不是你泡的性感小妞? PJ's not some hot chick you're banging?
不 我-我只是在指导他而已 No, I'm-I'm mentoring him.
指导 Mentoring.
我曾经也指导过一个年轻人 I mentored a young fellow once.
甚至提拔他做我的好兄弟 Even made him my wingman.
有一天他雇了个助理\n在他卧室10英尺外为他办事-- Then, one day, he hired an assistant\nto work ten feet from his bedroom who--
听好了哦-- 这可不是个性感小妞 \n证明他从未认真听我说话 get this-- isn't a hot chick, proving\nhe never listened to a word I said.
你知道这个人的名字吗? And do you know that young man's name?
- Ted Mosby? - 也许吧 - Ted Mosby?\n- Maybe.
我记不住\n因为在我眼里他已经死了! I don't remember.\nBecause he is dead to me!
PJ会收到一封令他十分迷惑的邮寄卡片 PJ's gonna be getting a very\nconfusing card in the mail,
还有一套他无论如何也穿不了三天\n之后回寄给我的衣服 along with a garment that he should by no means\nwear for three days and then mail back to me.
嘿 Barney Hey, Barney.
我找到让我在这儿变得独特的"玩意" I thought of a "thing" to\nmake me more essential here.
我是环保男 \n因为这里人人都讲究环保回收 对吧? I'm Eco Guy, 'cause everybody\nloves a guy who recycles, right?
绝对被炒 还有呢? Fired. What else you got?
我还想得一些别的:古怪的领带男 I thought of a few\nothers: Wacky Tie Guy.
被炒 Fired.
每日趣闻男? Daily Fun Fact Guy?
你不知道你被炒了? Did you know that you're fired?
锦囊妙计男? I Know a Good Stretch for That Guy?
照样被炒 Downward-facing fired.
喜剧男?\n(Monty Python是英国著名的六人喜剧团体) Monty Python Guy?
我们是骑士 齐呼...你被炒了 We are the knights who\nsay... You're fired.
等等! 等等! \n我在法学院的时候曾经组过一个棒球队 Wait! Wait! I did used to run a fantasy\nbaseball league back in law school.
不错 你或许还有点作为 That's not bad. You\nmight be on to something.
棒极了 棒极了! \n我将是个奇人了! Awesome. Awesome! I'll be Fantasy Guy!
我们将把你打造成运动小子 We'll have to make you Sports Guy.
我们已经有奇人了 We already have a Fantasy Guy.
- 你们好吗 伙计们?\n- 嘿 Frank - What's up, bros?\n- Hey, Frank.
喂? Hello?
哦嘿 PJ你在哪儿? \n你从未迟到过 Ah, hey, PJ. Where are\nyou? You're never late.
在帝国大厦楼顶? You're on top of the\nEmpire State Building?
用心听听这位"老太太"的诉说\n她故事多着呢 Listen to the old gal. She's\ngot some stories to tell.
尽情享受吧 好的 Take all the time you need. Okay.
等等 Ted Mosby家 Wait a second. Ted Mosby Home.
哦 天啊 电话是从屋里打来的 Oh, my God, the call's\ncoming from inside the house.
这可不是帝国大厦 That's not the Empire State Building.
Robin 你不能和我的助理上床 Robin, you cannot\nsleep with my assistant.
我还要这在做生意呢 I'm trying to run a business here.
怎么能发生这种事? How did this even happen?
午饭后 你去散你的思考步了 Well, at lunch, when you\ngo on your wisdom walks,
这让我和PJ有机会独处 it gives me and PJ some\ntime alone together.
灵感...来吧 Inspiration... do your thing.
总是灵验的 先生 总是灵验的 It always does, sir. It always does.
嘿 PJ 我要问你个有关建筑的问题 Hey, PJ, I actually have an\narchitectural question for you.
Ted的马匹拍起来感觉如何? Um, how does Ted's ass taste?
我不知道 但我感觉应该很不错 I wouldn't know, but I\nassume it tastes like genius.
为什么卫生间的门锁上了? Why is the bathroom locked?
来访者要登记才能取得卫生间的钥匙 Visitors need to sign\nin for the bathroom key.
听着 你个看厕所的 \n我希望你经过郑重考虑再回答这个问题 Listen, Peej, and I want you to think\nthis over real good before you answer.
你是在说我不能进我屋子里的卫生间? Are you telling me that I can't\ngo to the bathroom in my apartment?
不 No.
我是说在我的办公室里\n你必须经过同意才能使用卫生间 I am telling you that you need to ask\npermission to use the bathroom in my office.
怎么我觉得那么"热"? Why is that so hot?
Robin 世界上男人万万千千 Robin, there are billions\nof guys in the world.
你为何非得跟我的助理上床? Why do you have to\nsleep with my assistant?
Ted 我早上5:30就得起床去上班了 Ted, when I get off work,\nit's 5:30 in the morning.
你觉得我能遇到什么男人? Do you have any idea what\nkind of guys I'm meeting?
我是投递员 I deliver newspapers.
这是份脏活\n但是总得有人做 It's a dirty job, but\nsomebody's got to do it.
别担心 在我跟你做之前我会洗手的 Don't worry. I'll wash them\nbefore I handle your business.
我和我妈一起住 I live with my mom.
晚上 我们在她床上看电视\n我们管这叫"搂搂抱抱俱乐部" At night, we watch TV in her\nbed. We call it "Cuddle Club."
那么你起的这么早\n是为了关注欧洲证券交易? So, you, uh, get up really early to\ntrade on the European stock exchanges?
具体是怎么操作的呢? What's that like?
直说吧 我们要不要做? Look, is this going to happen or not?
好吧 首先\n我也跟奇人相处过 Okay, first of all, I've\nhung out with Fantasy Guy.
你这还不算最糟的 You could do a lot worse.
第二 你不能这样做了 Secondly, this has to stop.
让PJ分心会降低我们的办事效率的 Distracting PJ is going\nto kill our productivity.
办事效率? 你都没给客户打过电话 What productivity? You haven't\neven called a single client.
嘿 一旦我做好了网站\n打印好了宣传册 Hey, once I get the Web site\nup, the brochures printed,
然后确认好公司集体出游的时候\n到底玩什么考验彼此信任的游戏 and figure out what trusts games we're\ngoing to play at the corporate retreat,
我就会去给客户打电话 I am making those calls.
还集体出游? Corporate retreat?
我和Mosby先生要去楼顶扎营了 Mr. Mosby and I are\ngoing camping on the roof.
嘿 运动小子 Hey, Sports Guy.
听说大家对你的联盟赞不绝口 I hear people are\nraving about your league.
这事可比想象中的难 It's a lot harder than\nI thought it would be.
报名费 交易费 还有罚款 事实上... Between entry fees and transaction\nfees and penalty fees, I'm actually...
我手里拽着大把的钱 I'm holding on to a lot of money.
干得好 运动小子 这是上周的 Great work, Sports Guy.\nThat's for last week.
60 80 100\n60, 80, a hundred.
好吧 这里是18000块 Okay. This is $18,000 cash.
没啥大不了 It's not a big deal.
我只要把钱带回家 放放好就行 I'll just, uh, take it home\nand put it somewhere safe.
好吧 把钱兜袋里沿街走就行 Okay, just walking down the street\nwith some money in my pocket.
别摸钱 那样太明显 淡定些 Don't touch the money. That's\nso obvious. Just be cool.
不 被那娃发现了 Oh, no. The baby's on to me.
婴儿闻得出钱的味儿 地球人都知道的! Babies can smell money.\nEveryone knows that!
我带着大把的钱! I'm carrying a lot of money!
说真的 哥们 我不知道还能撑多久 Seriously, dude, I'm not sure how\nmuch longer I can keep doing this.
Marshall 上周你还是无人问津的废柴 Marshall, last week you were trash\nthat no one wanted to look at.
现在 你是运动小子 Now, you're Sports Guy.
- 我是废柴?\n- 我说上周! - I was trash?\n- Last week!
嘿 这是Mosbius设计公司的Ted Mosby Hey, there's Ted Mosby\nof Mosbius Designs.
在家办公咋样 哥们? How's the home office coming, buddy?
在Robin勾搭上我的助手后好极了 Well, it was going great till\nRobin started banging my assistant.
Ted 我们公寓是共用的 对不? Ted, it's our apartment, okay?
你在桌上放着巧克力大蛋糕\n妈妈只是切下一小片而已 You leave a big chocolate cake on the\ncounter, Mama's gonna cut her off a slice.
我告诉过你 I told you.
找个能跟你上床的靓妞助理 Hire a cute assistant\nthat you can sleep with,
但你找了个能跟Robin上床的靓仔助理 but instead you hire a cute\nassistant that Robin can sleep with.
当然会跟她上床 Ted 瞧瞧她! And of course he's gonna sleep\nwith her, Ted. Look at her!
她是个绝世好女人!\n我不想再谈这个话题! She's the greatest woman on the\nplanet! I'm getting off topic!
你个蠢蛋!\n我要说的就是这个! 你个蠢蛋! You're an idiot! That's my\nmessage! You're an idiot!
不 No.
一人发飙还不够\nMarshall 和我一起发飙! One person storming off isn't\nenough! Marshall, storm off with me!
Barney 哥们 为啥Ted不和\n助理上床你会那么不爽? Barney. Dude, why are this upset about Ted\nnot having sex with the people he hires?
因为我很受伤! Because it hurts!
咋样伤你? It hurts you how?
很受伤因为我喜欢...Ted It hurts because I love... Ted.
和女人上床 Having sex with women.
我可是敬业的泡妞托儿! I'm a very dedicated wingman!
听着 这些事我只能向Lily倾述 Look, Lily's the only person that\nI can talk to about this stuff.
把她找来和我说说话 Just get her to talk to me.
我试试 但不敢保证 I'll try, but, look,\nthere's no guarantees.
她还对那个玩笑愤懑不已 She's still really\noutraged about that joke.
那个玩笑 That joke.
弄得大家四分五裂 反目成仇 Torn our little group apart, pitted\npeople I love against each other.
说真的 我希望... Seriously, I wish...
我倒希望从没说过那笑话 I wish that joke had\nnever come into our lives.
- 但还是蛮好笑的 对不?\n- 快笑爆了 哥们 - It's kinda of funny though, right?\n- It's so funny, man.
嘿 好消息 PJ Hey, good news, PJ.
你设计的小册子刚到 The brochures you designed just came in.
封面选得真有趣 Really interesting choice for the cover.
我的设计稿你一张没选 却选了这张 I like how instead of one of\nmy designs, you chose this.
知道不? 我肯定送错照片了 You know what? I must've\nsent in the wrong photo.
你这么觉得? You think?
听着 PJ 网站还没做完 Look, PJ, the Web site's still not done.
你甚至连公司安排的旅行也没去 You didn't even show up\nto the corporate retreat--
顺带提一下 我看到流星了... by the way, I saw a shooting star...
而且你天天迟到\n抱歉 PJ 我得严肃处理 and you're late every day. I-I'm\nsorry, PJ. I gotta get focused.
你被解雇了 You're fired.
- 你不能炒我鱿鱼...\n- PJ 你被解雇了 - You can't fire...\n- PJ, you're fired.
好吧! Fine!
嘿 宝贝 我刚被炒鱿鱼了 Hey, baby. I just got fired.
嗯 我在你家等你 好的 拜拜 Yeah, I'll wait for you\nat your place. Okay, bye.
"幸运之轮"(电视娱乐节目) Oh, Wheel of Fortune.
我闲暇时就喜欢和你在一起 veve having all this free\ntime to spend with you.
我想亲你这里... I'm going to kiss you here...
还有这里 And here.
还有这里 这里 还有... And here and here. And...
拜托打住 Please stop.
我要去下卫生间 I'm going to go to the bathroom.
- 我会想你的\n- 我也想你 - I'll miss you.\n- I'll miss you, too.
你已经厌倦他了 对不? You're already sick of him, aren't you?
真受不了他 He's driving me crazy.
先前PJ工作时 性感迷人 When PJ had a job, he was sexy.
他是卫生间钥匙的守卫者 He was guardian of the bathroom key.
一个性感火辣的家伙\n决定着你能不能上厕所 A hot guy telling you\nwhen you can and can't pee?
梦想中场景 That's the dream.
梦想中的场景? 梦想? That's the dream? The dream?
像马丁路德金说的那样?\n(黑人运动领袖 发表过"我有一个梦想") Like what Martin Luther\nKing was talking about?
我得做个了结 不是吗? I have to end it, don't I?
我不擅长分手 I'm terrible at breakups.
I still have to go a little bit, but I\ncouldn't be away from you one second longer.
听着 Oh, listen, uh...
- 伙计 我不知道\n- 怎么? - Dude, I don't know.\n- What?
嗯 只是 Yeah, it's just...
实在不... It's not really...
不行 明白不? ix-nay, you know?
啥事不行? Ix-nay on what?
- 没感觉\n- 啥没感觉? - Not feeling it.\n- Not feeling what?
但还能当朋友 But-but friends and stuff.
我的天 史上最烂的分手告白 Oh, my God, this is\nthe worst breakup ever.
你要和我分手? You're breaking up with me?
要是你想的话 我绝对能理解 Oh, if that's what you\nwant, I-I totally understand.
你还没开通大家提到的游击手位置 You still haven't activated that\nshortstop the Mariners just brought up.
快去开通 Got to have it.
看见吧 运动小子! 大家都爱你 See, Sports Guy! People love you.
我不做运动小子了 成不? 都快崩溃了! I can't be Sports Guy\nanymore, okay? It's killing me!
半夜三更我老是收到短信\n邮件还有电话 I keep getting these constant texts and e-mails\nand phone calls in the middle of the night.
有时我甚至觉得被人跟踪 Sometimes I even think\nthat I'm being followed.
嘿 哥们 Hey, buddy.
我要你尽快搞定我那个队员交易\n这样我就能重排阵容了 I need you to push that trade\nthrough, so I can set my new lineup.
你的确有把这事放心上 是吧? Wow, you really carry it in\nyour shoulders, don't you?
说真的 已经结束了 Seriously, it's over.
你要我停下来? Do you want me to stop?
不 No.
Robin和PJ分手后 我随心所欲地\n在我的办公室做了点人员调动 With Robin and PJ broken up, I was free\nto make some staffing changes inhe office.
嗨 欢迎来到Mosbius设计公司 Hi, welcome to Mosbius Designs.
你在逗我吧? You got to be kidding me?
既然PJ回来工作了... And now that PJ was back at work...
你在逗我吧? You got to be kidding me?
显然Robin和PJ又勾搭到一起了 So, uh... apparently Robin\nand PJ are an item again.
你在逗我吧! You got to be kidding me!
你没事吧? Are you all right?
好吧 既然不能向Lily倾诉\n我就告诉你吧 Okay, since Lily's not talking to me,\nthere's something that I have to tell you.
但有点难以启齿 好吧? And this isn't easy to say, all right?
我...等下... I'm... wait for it...
爱...等下... in... wait for it...
上...等下... love... wait for it...
了...等下... with... wait for it...
某...等下... a... wait for it...
个...等下... certain... wait for it...
- 我知道你爱上Robin了\n- 啥? - I know that you're in love with Robin.\n- What?
- Lily告诉我的\n- 她告诉你的? - Lily told me.\n- She told you?
好极了 Great.
我猜你们老在背后嘲笑我呢吧 I bet you guys have been laughing\nat me behind my back the whole time.
其实...说来奇怪\n我们一致认为你俩蛮登对的 Actually, um... in a weird way, we both\nthink you're kind of perfect for each other.
- 是吗?\n- 嗯 事实上 - You do?\n- Yeah.Matter of fact, um,
我们甚至尽量挤在桌子的一边\n这样你俩就能坐一起 we even try to sit onhe same side of the\nbooth so you two will have to sit together.
是吗? 真善解人意 Really? That's so sweet.
但澄清下 我谈不上爱她 好吧? But let's be clear. I\ndon't love her. Okay?
我只是...她不在的时候想念她 I just... miss her\nwhen she's not around.
我时时刻刻想念她 想象着终有一天\n我俩用慢镜头奔向对方怀中的场景 I think about her all the time, and I imagine us\none day running towards each other in slow motion,
而且我穿着棕色的绒面背心 and I'm wearing a brown suede vest.
你想过向她表白吗? Are you ever going to\ntell her how you feel?
没 说不准 决不 我不清楚 听着... No. Maybe. Never. I don't know. Look...
我只想让那蠢蛋PJ离她远点 I just need to get that\nPJ idiot awafrom her.
要是Lily在的话 她肯定能想出锦囊妙计 If Lily were here, she'd know\nexactly how to get rid of him.
或许我能帮上忙 Maybe I can help.
Marshall 你可及不上Lily Marshall, you're no Lily.
Lily是能巧妙周旋的小恶魔 Lily is a diabolical puppet master,
能灵巧地掌控全局以便达到目的 subtly manipulating every situation\nto get exactly what she wants.
极为艰险狡诈 Marshall She's pure evil, Marshall.
你可捡到宝啦 紧紧抓牢她 You got a good one\nthere. Hang on to her.
与此同时 我与Robin争夺\nPJ的拉力赛还在继续 Meanwhile, my bizarre tug of\nwar with Robin over PJ continued.
嘿 PJ Hey, PJ.
我想去散散步 汲取天地精华 I was about to go on my wisdom walk.
要和我一起吗? Want to join me?
嘿 PJ Hey, PJ.
我私自拿了卫生间的钥匙 I took the bathroom keywithout asking.
你要咋处理呢? What are you going to do about it?
听着...你们俩都很不错 Look... you guys are both great.
但我找到了另一份工作 But the truth is I'm taking another job.
这是给你的 These are for you.
Robin 我希望这信能给我俩划上句号 Robin, I hope this letter\noffers some closure.
Ted 我会很想你的 Ted, I'm really going to miss you.
你不能把Manny Ramirez\n换成2个中继投手! You can't trade Manny Ramirez\nfor two middle relievers!
要是你不这么干 我就退出! If you veto that trade,\nI am out of the league!
好的! 好的! 我会解决的 Okay! Okay! I'll figure it out.
找个娃当"助理" Hire the kid to be a "paralegal."
工作统统交给他 而你仍旧是运动小子 He gets to do all the work, and\nyou still get to be Sports Guy.
真阴险 Eriksen 绝对阴险 Pure evil, Eriksen. Pure evil.
谢谢 Thanks.
你没事吧? You okay?
要是我不考虑书会咋样? What if I don't think of the books?
啥? Excuse me?
有这么个建筑师的故事\n他设计了这个图书馆 There's this famous architecture story\nabout an architect who designed this library.
一切都很完美 It was perfect.
但每年 整幢楼都会往地下沉一点 But every year, the whole thing would\nsink a couple inches into the ground.
最终大楼报废掉 Eventually, the building was condemned.
他忘了把书的重量考虑在内 He forgot to account for\nthe weight of the books.
这个公司...只有我而已 This company... it's just me.
要是我也不考虑书会咋样? What if I don't think of the books?
好吧...首先 现在很少人去图书馆了\n所以有谁会关注那建筑师? Okay... first of all, nobody goes to\nlibraries anymore, so who cares about that guy?
其次 你得打电话找客户 Secondly, you need to get on the\nphone and start calling clients.
我的公司不开业 The longer I put off\nstarting my own firm,
我就永远不会把事情搞砸 \n这一切还继续是我的梦想 the longer it can remain a dream\nand not something I screwed up at.
我是说 看来我还没开业就放弃了 I mean, it's like I'm giving\nup before I even started.
你想谈谈放弃吗? You want to talk about giving up?
我以前总觉得我的白马王子得\n幽默 聪明 热情 大胆 I used to describe my ideal guy as\n"funny, smart, passionate, challenging."
但现在 我在自己公寓里\n找了个家伙就将就了 And now, apparently, I will\nsettle for "in my apartment."
你不觉得其实你已经准备的差不多了吗? Didn't you think you'd have\nit all more figured out by now?
你在逗我吧? 我该在30岁时名扬天下 Are you kidding?By 30, I was\ngoing to be annoyingly successful,
娶个好老婆 没准都快有孩子了 married to the perfect\nwoman, maybe a kid on the way.
可是 我现在只是闲在家里\n和电话较劲的无名小卒 Instead, I'm just some guy sitting in his\napartment, having a staring contest with his phone.
最终就是下不了决心打电话的窝囊废 And losing.
你会成功的 You can take that thing.
嗨 我是Mosbius设计公司的Ted Mosby Hi, this is Ted Mosby\nof Mosbius Designs.
我想问下目前或者将来\n你们是否需要建筑设计 I'm calling to inquire about any design\nneeds you may have now or in the future.
貌似不错 伙计 That sounds great, buddy.
- 是吗? 我听上去信心十足?\n- 对 - Really? I sound confident?\n- Yup.
- 打给真正的客户吧\n- 好 - Now call an actual client.\n- Great.
嘿 美食小子! Hey, Food Guy!
嘿 玩具小子! Hey, Toy Guy!
那是谁? Who's that guy?
不是这的工作人员 He doesn't work here.
- 我觉得我们得闪啦\n- 是吗? - I think we should leave the building.\n- Really?
以前也发生过 This has happened before.