孩子们 真希望我爸爸能告诉我这些 ********thing I wish my dad had told me.
生命中最长的等待 就是当你问到... The longest pause you will ever experience in your\nlife is the one that follows asking the question...
你愿意嫁给我吗? Will you marry me?
你的大脑飞速运转\n想象着各种可能的回应 Your brain goes into overdrive,\nimagining every possible response.
不 No.
天啊 才不 Oh, God, no.
你想我嫁给...不 You want me to marry... No.
不好意思 Ted 我不能答应你 Oh, I'm sorry, Ted. I can't.
你高中橄榄球队的四分卫\nMark Johnson已经向我求婚 Mark Johnson, the quarterback from your\nhigh school football team, already asked me.
你好吗 Turd? What's up, Turd?
我叫Ted! It's Ted!
但如果你够幸运 她会用英语中\n最棒的一个字作为回答 But if you're lucky, she may answer with the\nsingle greatest word in the English language.
好 Yes.
How I Met\nYour Mother Season04 Episode01
Stella和我那个夏天幸福的订了婚 Stella and I spent that\nsummer happily engaged.
而Marshall还未从失业的\n阴影中摆脱出来 Marshall was still\ncoping with unemployment.
你们干啥呢? What are you doing?
Lily醉心于作画 Lily threw herself into her painting.
你干啥呢? What are you doing?
Barney忙着车祸后的复原 Barney was rehabilitating\nfrom his bus accident.
你干啥呢? What are you doing?
Marshall仍然继续在失业阴影中迷茫着 And well, Marshall just kept\ncoping with unemployment.
你干啥呢? What are you doing?
而Robin仍然保持着地铁\n新闻1台的职业水准 And Robin continued to uphold the high\njournalistic standards of Metro News 1.
你最爱品牌的牙线是否正\n毒害着你的全家人呢? Is your favorite brand of dental\nfloss poisoning your entire family?
请收看11点钟极其震惊的... Tune in at 11:00 for the shocking...
牙齿新闻 tooth.
好吧 我正式讨厌我的工作了 Okay, I officially hate my job.
我不是记者 我只是某个半夜出现\n吓坏观众的人 I'm not a reporter, I'm just someone\nwho shows up at night and scares people.
我只是个看电子提词机的妖精 I'm the bogeyman with a teleprompter.
看电子提词机的妖精\n太搞笑了! Bogeyman with a teleprompter.\nThat's hilarious!
好好笑啊 Robin 好好笑 Great joke, Robin, great joke.
Barney 我无意冒犯Robin\n但这一点也不好笑 Barney, no offense to Robin,\nbut that wasn't that funny.
开什么玩笑? 多好笑啊 Are you kidding? That was a great joke.
聪明 搞笑 又漂亮 全套的 It's smart, funny,\nbeautiful, the whole package.
是你想要又不敢要的 It's everything you're\nafraid to let yourself want.
我是说说笑话的时候 In a joke.
"看电子提词机的妖精" "Bogeyman with a teleprompter."
真经典 Classic.
有什么急事你非要在早上7点22分\n打电话给我 求我过来一趟? Okay, what is so urgent that you called me and\nbegged me to come over at 7:22 in the morning?
我看得出来你觉得我不对劲\n事实上也是 I could tell you knew something\nwas up with me, and you're right.
但我不能告诉你我怎么了 But I can't tell you what it is.
我应该告诉你 不 我不能!\n我一定要说 我绝不能说! I should tell you, but I\ncan't! I have to. I never will!
我要说了 还是算了 你好吗? I'm going to. Let's just\ndrop it. What's up with you?
Barney 直说了吧 Barney, just say it.
我想我爱上了Robin I think I'm in love with Robin.
嘿 Lily想你给Stella的\n单身告别派对礼物提点建议 Hey, Lily needs some gift ideas\nfor Stella's wedding shower.
她喜欢做饭吗? Does she like to cook?
说真的 我不知道 actually, I don't know.
噢 她最喜欢什么颜色? Oh, what's her favorite color?
也不清楚 Don't know that either.
那她有什么爱好吗? Well, does she have any hobbies?
有的 她正是那种有爱好的人 Yes, she's exactly the kind of\nperson who would have hobbies.
还兴趣广泛 And interests, too.
我真是个幸运的混蛋 I am one lucky son of a bitch.
伙计 你对要娶的女人一无所知 Dude, you don't know anything\nabout the woman you're marrying.
什么? 你说什么啊! 我知道的多得很 What? You're crazy! I know plenty.
那她眼睛什么颜色? What color are her eyes?
是暴风雨后海洋的颜色 The color of the ocean after a storm.
那是啥颜色? Which is?
美丽的颜色 Beautiful.
真不敢相信 I don't believe it.
我以为你让我过来是为了帮SM后的你松绑 \n但你居然恋爱了? I thought you called me over here to uncuff you\nfrom your sex swing again, but you're in love?
这太可爱了! That is so sweet!
一点都不"可爱" It's not "sweet."
这就像疾病 It's like a disease.
我和Robin睡了一次就染上了感觉 I slept with Robin one\ntime and I caught feelings.
我还病得不轻 I caught feelings bad.
我做好了一切防护措施的 I used protection and everything.
Barney 你不是染上了感觉\n你本来就是有感觉的 Oh, Barney, you don't catch\nfeelings, you just have them.
这感觉很棒的 And they're good.
感觉太可怕了! They're terrible!
我吃不下 睡不着 I can't eat, I can't sleep.
满脑子都是她 She's all I think about.
闭上双眼 我看到Robin I close my eyes, I see Robin.
听到歌曲 让我想起Robin I, I hear a song; it\nreminds me of Robin.
早安 Morning.
就算和这小妞睡觉想的还是Robin I sleep with that chick,\nI'm thinking about Robin.
好吧 我对Stella并不是无所不知 Okay, so I don't know every\nsingle detail about Stella.
但这有什么关系呢? \n你是不喜欢她还是怎么的? What's this really about? Do\nyou not like her or something?
不 Ted 我很喜欢Stella No, Ted, I like Stella a lot.
- 她也是纽约大都会棒球队的粉丝呢\n- 真的? - She's a Mets fan.\n- Really?
只是你们俩进展的太快了 It's just that everything with\nyou guys has moved so fast.
你们才认识几个月 You've only known each\nother a few months.
你不觉得该把脚步放慢些吗? Don't you think maybe you should\nslow things down a little bit?
好好的了解下对方? Get to know each other better?
我有一辈子时间去了解她呢 I'll have a whole lifetime\nto get to know her better.
现在 我只知道一件事:那就是我爱她 Right now, I know the one thing\nthat I have to: that I love her.
你爱她? You love her?
Barney 你怎么能一边爱着她\n一边又和一切会动的东西上床呢 Barney, how can you be in love, and still\nbe sleeping with anything that moves?
对不起 我没听懂 I'm sorry, I don't follow you.
这就好像说 "一只蚂蚁怎么能\n搬动比自己身体重20倍的物体" That's like saying, "How can an\nant carry 20 times its body weight,
"而漂浮沙士的味道也还是那么好?" but root beer floats\nare still delicious?"
这两件事情有关联吗 真的吗? Are the two even related? Really?
Barney 如果你想成为Bobin的男朋友\n就不能再这样胡搞了 Barney, you're going to have to stop screwing\naround if you want to be Robin's boyfriend.
"男朋友"? 我不想当她的男朋友 "Boyfriend"? I don't want\nto be Robin's boyfriend.
那你想怎样 Well, what do you want, then?
我不知道 只想和她在一起 I don't know. I just\nwant to be with her.
时时刻刻 All the time.
我想听她讲一天的经历\n然后告诉她我的经历 I want to hear about her\nday and tell her about mine.
我想握住她的手 闻她的发香 I want to hold her\nhand and smell her hair.
但我不想做她愚蠢的男朋友 But I don't want to be\nher stupid boyfriend.
Barney 你形容的正是一对\n恋爱中的男女朋友要做的事 Barney, what you just described is a\nrelationship between a boyfriend and a girlfriend.
而且还是很黏的那种 And a pretty clingy one at that.
听着Lily 你到底要不要帮我? Look, Lily, are you going to\nhelp me out with this or not?
我是个幼稚园老师 I'm a kindergarten teacher.
我看着那些迷惑的小孩子\n躲在角落想要吃剪刀 I see a confused, little kid in the\ncorner trying to eat the lefty scissors,
我得帮助那些可怜的小混蛋 I gotta help the poor, little bastard.
但你要答应我不再乱搞 好吗? But only if you stop\nsleeping around. Deal?
成交 Deal.
接下来请看 你附近的冰淇淋店是否掺了毒品? Coming up next, is your local ice cream man\nactually driving a roving meth lab on wheels?
请不要转台 收看接下来的... Stay tuned for the full...
独家冰淇淋新闻 真的吗? scoop. Really?
我知道男人们觉得一个大男人\n做饭很娘娘腔 但我们女孩... I know dudes think it's girlie\nfor a guy to cook, but us ladies?
- 我们认为这样很性感\n- 真的吗? - We find it mighty sexy.\n- Really?
要知道... You know, uh...
是我奶奶教我的 my grandma taught me how.
- 是吗?\n- 没错 - Oh, yeah, she did.\n- Yeah.
我下学后经常看她做饭\n因为我对运动很不在行 I had a lot of time after school to watch\nher cook because I wasn't good at sports.
我现在欲火焚身了 I'm on fire right now.
真好吃 这蒜香酱里放了什么 Delicious. What's in this pesto?
你知道的 通常的那些:\n罗勒 大蒜 橄榄油 Oh, you know, the usual:\nbasil, garlic, olive oil,
但想知道我的秘密配方吗 but can you guess my secret ingredient?
花生 Peanuts.
对啊 你是怎么知道的? Yes. How did you know that?
好 让我想想还有什么? *****What else?
知道吗 亲爱的? You know what, sweetie?
我今早起床很早 又上了一天班 I woke up so early and I had\na really long day at work.
然后就是你企图谋杀我的事件 And then there was that whole\nthing where you tried to kill me.
我们能去睡了吗? Can we please just go to sleep?
不 我想多了解你些 No, I clearly need to\nknow more about you.
我们从第一次说吧 初吻是和谁? Let's do firsts. Um, first kiss?
Dale Harris 二年级 Dale Harris, second grade.
等下 你是指脸上亲一下\n还是很激情的那种? Wait, you're talking like peck on the\ncheek or a full-on passionate making out?
很激情的那种 Passionate making out.
哦对 Dale Harris 二年级 Okay, yeah, Dale Harris, second grade.
那第一次上床呢 Uh, first time you had sex.
- Dale Harris 二...\n- 少来 - Dale Harris, second...\n- Stop it.
Billy Devito 大学二年级 Billy Devito, sophomore year of college.
假正经 Molly McKenzie 初中的时候 Prude. Molly McKenzie,\njunior year of high school.
这么淫荡 Slut.
要让Robin见识到这个全新的你 Robin just needs to\nsee this new see of you.
那么我打给她? So just call her up?
打给她 Just call her up.
嗨 Robin(&%$@#*...) Hi, Robin.
她没接 我语音信箱留言了 She wasn't there. I left a voice mail.
你留下了阴阳怪气不男不女的声音\n（英语里"语音" 和"男性的"发音一样） You left a voice, but it wasn't male.
Barney 我想不通 Barney, I don't get it.
你给女孩打过无数个电话了 You've called a million\ngirls a million times.
对 但那些只是激情的召唤电话 Yeah, but those were just booty calls.
打这种电话 你甚至都不需要说话 On a booty call, you\nbarely even have to talk.
晚上9点钟的时候 你说... Around 9:00 p.m., you say...
嘿 宝贝 我是Barney 今晚忙吗? Hey, baby, it's Barney.\nYou busy tonight?
好极了 半小时后见? 等不及了 Sweet. See you in half\nan hour? Can't wait.
但是时间越晚 需要说的话越少 But the later it gets,\nthe fewer words you need.
是Barney 忙吗 好极了 Barney. Busy? Sweet.
等到凌晨3点... And by 3:00 in the morning...
好极了 Sweet.
问号? 你和一个问号上床了? A question mark? You got\nlaid off a question mark?
那也没有你们那超级明显的暗号糟糕 It's no worse than your\nsuper-obvious code words.
- 犀牛\n- 我们先走了 - Rhinoceros.\n- We have to go.
好吧 那现在得编个新暗号 Great. Now we need a new code word.
啊啊 是她 是Robin 该怎么办 Ah, ah, it's her, it's\nRobin. What do I do?
不不不 Robin...很高兴接到你的电话 No-no-no-no, aah! Robin...\ngreat to hear from you.
我真是倍感荣幸 To what do I owe the pleasure?
你打来说%&$^@ 然后就挂了 要干嘛? You called, went , and\nhung up. What do you want?
快帮帮我! Help me!
问她点事情 Uh, just ask her something.
今天怎么样? How are you feeling today?
挺好 Fine.
问些私人的 Something personal.
你多大年纪来的月经? At what age did you\nfirst get your period?
你刚才是不是问我的月经? Did you just ask me\nabout about my period?
没 我没问 No, I did not.
听着Barney 我现在在工作 Look, Barney, I'm at work right now.
快约她出去 Just ask her out.
Robin 我想知道你能否... Um, Robin, I was wondering if...
没事了 我挂了 拜 Nothing. Gotta go. Bye.
这是个恶作剧 That was just a practical joke.
我没有真的爱上Robin I'm not really in love with Robin.
你真该看看自己的表情 You should've seen\nthe look on your face.
这里 这里 还有这里都是摄像头 There's cameras right\nthere and there and there.
多么具有传奇性的恶作剧\n我们再也不要提起了 What a legendary prank that we're\nnever going to speak of again.
恶心 Gross.
你看的第一部电影是什么 Uh, first movie you ever saw.
狗侦探 1981年 Benji, 1981.
我最近又和Lucy看了一遍\n我还想那只狗狗现在肯定已经死了吧 I watched it recently with Lucy and I just\nthought, Oh, that dog is so dead right now.
你呢? What about you?
我爸爸带我去汽车影院看了原版星球大战 My dad took me to an old drive-in\nto see the original Star Wars.
其实我没看过星球大战的 You know, I've aually\nnever seen Star Wars.
她没看过星球大战? She's never seen Star Wars?
Ted 这宇宙里唯一没有看过星球大战\n的人就是星球大战里面的人物自己 Ted, the only people in the universe who haven't\nseen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars,
这是因为他们生活在那里 Ted! and that's 'cause they lived them, Ted!
因为他们生活在星球大战里 That's 'cause they lived the Star Wars.
你冷静点 You've got to calm down.
我告诉你 我告诉你\n你还不够了解这女孩 I told you. I told you you\ndidn't know this girl well enough.
如果你给她看 她不喜欢呢 What if you show it to her\nand she doesn't like it?
伙计 只是部电影 Dude, it's just a movie.
Ted 星球大战是你这辈子最爱的电影 Ted, Star Wars is your\nall-time favorite movie,
Stella是否也喜欢 这点很关键 and whether or not Stella\nlikes it is actually important.
考验你俩是否合得来 It's like, it's a test of\nhow compatible you guys are.
Marshall 这不过是部电影 Marshall, it's just a movie.
是部电影罢了 It's just a movie.
摄人心魄的121分钟过后... 121 awesome minutes later
好吧 如果Stella不喜欢这电影\n我不能娶她 Okay, if Stella doesn't like\nthis movie, I can't marry her.
没错 你绝不能 No, you can't.
- 想再看一遍吗?\n- 好的 - You want to watch it again?\n- Yes, I do.
慢着 其他男生呢?\n我还以为是集体聚会呢 Wait, where are the boys? I\nthought this was a group thing.
不 我骗你的 Yeah, I lied.
他们不会来的\n我也马上得走了 They're not coming\nand I'm about to leave.
为啥? Why?
因为...他们没有爱上Robin\n我也没有 Because... they're not in love\nwith Robin, and neither am I.
她人很好 很可爱 I mean, she's great and sweet.
惹火的身材也是人所共见的\n这个就扯远了 I'm not going to pretend that I haven't\nnoticed her body, but this is off topic.
祝你好运 Good luck.
慢 慢 我办不到 Wait, wait, I can't do this.
她不会把我当回事 She'll never take me seriously.
她觉得我就是个玩女人的傻瓜 She thinks I'm some womanizing idiot.
我们都知道 你比这要好多了 We both know you're more than that.
去吧 让Robin见识全新的Barney Okay, just show Robin the\nBarney I met the other day.
你是指优柔寡断 腻腻歪歪\n和Ted没什么两样那一型吗? You mean the insecure, touchy-feely\nshe-male who sounded alarmingly close to Ted?
嘿 Ted摆脱这形象一年多了 Hey, Ted hit that for over a year.
祝我好运吧 Wish me luck.
我想 我俩一起看电影一定会很开心 I just thought it'd be fun\nto watch a movie tonight,
因为你从没看过星球大战\n我想 不如就看这部吧 and since you've never seen\nStar Wars, I figured why not?
也没啥大不了的 No big deal.
挺好看的 It's pretty good.
听起来挺不错呢 Sounds like a plan.
嘿 我去拿罐啤酒 你要吗? Hey, I'm just gonna grab\na beer. You want one?
电影已经开始了... the movie's already started, so...
屏幕上只有几行字在飘 Yeah, it's just some\nwords flying through space.
我可不会一字一句盯着它看 I mean, I'm not going\nto read that anyway.
天啊 Oh, my God.
糟糕的开端 Off to a bad start.
你在下面干什么? What are you doing down there?
我得确保我最好的朋友\n娶到一个适合他的女人 I'm making sure my best friend\nis marrying the right woman.
这就是我正在干的事 That's what I'm doing.
兄弟 你到底在搞什么鬼?\n这么成天躲在沙发后面? Dude, what the hell are you\ndoing, hiding behind the couch?
你得正经找份工作了 You need to get a job.
- 我真得找了 对吧?\n- 没错 - I really do, don't I?\n- Yeah.
那么 Robin... So, Robin...
告诉我 你今天过得怎么样\n不仅是发生了什么 还有你的感想 tell me about your day, and not just what\nhappened, how you felt about what happened.
什么? What?
我不是妄图解决问题\n而是想分享你的感受 I'm not looking to problem-solve,\nI'm just looking to listen.
你为什么要装出这副样子? Why are you acting like this?
什么样子? Like what?
你今天超级好人 把我吓坏了 You're being super nice.\nIt's freaking me out.
做回那个猥琐 胡搅的Barney吧 Be gross, be inappropriate. Be Barney.
这个正是Barney\n我想今晚我们会很愉-暂停-快 Uh, I'm being Barney, and I think tonight's\ngoing to be de-- wait for it-- lightful.
愉快 Delightful.
没错 Right.
嘿 我昨天去看推拿师了 Hey, um, so I went to the\nchiropractor yesterday.
那家伙把我摁在台上\n折腾了足一个小时 That guy bent me over the table\nand pounded me for a good hour.
保险公司会付这个吗?\n有时可不一定 Is insurance going to cover\nthat? Sometimes they don't.
你就这个反应? 好吧 That's it? Okay.
今天我去看牙医了 Well, um, today I was at the dentist.
那家伙钻了我一整天 That guy drilled me all day long.
他钻得很用劲 He drilled me hard.
把我所有的洞洞都填上了 He filled all of my cavities.
拜托你了 伙计 Come on, man.
- 呃 你的牙齿很好看\n- 你到底是谁? - Well, your teeth look fantastic.\n- Who are you?
怎么了? What?
没什么 Nothing.
你一直盯着我看 You were staring at me.
你今晚很漂亮 You look really beautiful tonight.
你也不赖 先生 You don't look so bad yourself, mister.
来了 经典场面 经典场面 Yeah, great scene, great scene.
星球大战幕后故事之七-- Star Wars fun\nfact number seven--
George Lucas的故事蓝本\n建构于黑泽明的"战国英豪" George Lucas based the film's structure\non Akira Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress.
部分灵感亦来自Joseph Campbell的神话作品 Uh, he also owes a debt to Joseph\nCampbell's work with comparative mythology.
Ted 你把我绕昏了\n到底怎么一回事? Yeah, Ted, I'm losing wood\nover here. What's going on?
没什么 Nothing.
慢着 我是否喜欢这部电影\n对你非常重要 对不对? Wait, it's really important to you\nthat I like this movie, isn't it?
才不呢 No.
好吧 你要是整晚就那么盯着我\n我是不可能喜欢这电影的 Well, I'm not gonna like it with\nyou staring at me the whole time.
回房间呆着\n我看完了再来找你 Go to your room and I will\ncome get you when it's over.
- Stella - 去吧 - Stella.\n- Go.
我也得走吗? Should I leave, too?
放到哪儿了 到哪儿了? What part, what part, what part?
谢谢 Thanks.
就这样? 你瞄都不瞄一眼? Nothing? Not even a glance?
连我一个女的\n看着男的都会想入非非 I mean, even I was thinking about\nrocking a motorboat on those bad boys.
你到底出什么毛病了 Barney? What the hell is wrong with you, Barney?
我不是什么时候都想成为那种人 I don't always want to be that guy.
有时我想成为那种\n可以和你谈心的人 Sometimes I want to be someone you\ncan have an actual conversation with.
来吧 告诉我一些\n我所不知道的 关于你的事情 Now, tell me something about\nyou that I don't know yet.
说真的 Seriously.
好吧 Okay.
有家新有线电视有个\n岗位的空缺很适合我 there's a job opening at a new cable\nnetwork that would be perfect for me--
可以播报正儿八经的国际新闻\n访问那些大人物 completely legit world news,\ninterviews with people who matter--
但我已经决定了不去申请 uh, but I decided I'm\nnot going to apply.
为什么? Why not?
因为我只是个笑话 Because I'm a joke.
我是从傻帽地方新闻台\n出来吓坏人的新闻女郎 I'm just the scary news lady from\nsome stupid local news channel.
嘿 我们都知道 你比这要好得多 Hey, we both know you're more than that.
答应我 你要去申请 Promise me you'll apply.
- Barney 这可没这么简单...\n- 答应我 你要去申请 - Barney, it's not as easy...\n- Promise me you'll apply.
好吧 我答应你 Okay. I promise.
她看到那一幕了 Okay, she's up to the scene
Luke Leia Han和Chewy从\n死亡星球的垃圾压缩机里逃出来了 where Luke, Leia, Han and Chewy escape\nfrom the Death Star's trash compactor.
经典 Great scene.
经-典 Great scene.
照说我们会听到... Okay, we should have just heard...
但Stella屁也没放一个 but Stella didn't make a peep.
- 我得去看看\n- 好咧 - I'm gonna take a look.\n- All right.
她根本没在看\n她在发短信 She's not even watching. She's texting.
我去跟她说\n分手了你们还可以做朋友 I'll tell her you still\nwant to be friends.
我不敢相信 I don't believe this.
我不敢相信 她明知这对我很重要 \n居然还... I don't believe this; she knows this\nis important to me. She's blatantly...
别再监视我了 你们两个混球 Stop watching me, jackasses.
为把握机会干杯 To taking chances.
Robin 其实我有件事想对你说 You know, Robin, there's actually\nsomething I, I do want to talk to you about.
最后一轮 Last call.
当然咯 Of course it is.
临走前再来一杯? One more for the road?
好 为什么不呢?\n能否等会儿再说? Yeah, why not? Hold that thought?
好吧 I will.
- 我很喜欢\n- 太好了! - I loved it.\n- Yes!
太好了 我要娶一个不仅漂亮\n而且喜欢看星球大战的女人 Yes, I am marrying a woman who is\nnot only hot but loves Star Wars.
我的梦想成真了 耶! That's the dream. Yes!
你在干嘛? What was that?
我在穿越时空和15岁的我击掌 I was high-fiving 15-Year-Old Me\nthrough the space- time continuum.
成功了 我们成功了\n你这个小混蛋 We did it. We did it, you\nmasturbating little bastard.
我去给我们每人倒杯香槟 Champagne for everybody.
瞧他乐的 It was so good.
你不喜欢 对吧? You hated it, didn't you?
呃 这电影太蠢了 Ugh, it's so stupid.
首先 他们怎能理解那些会走路的... I mean, first of all, how do\nthey understand that walking...
从头到尾和他们呆在一块的熊人? bear they hang around with all the time?
- Wookiee族人\n- 没错 就这副熊样子... - Wookiee.\n- Yeah, he goes...
然后他们就会说\n"说得好 熊人 我们来干吧" And they're all like, That's a\ngood point, Bear, let's try that.
好了 那是个Wookiee族人\n他比他外表要聪明得多 Okay, he's a Wookiee, and his kind is\nactually more intelligent than they appear.
听着 Stella\n这是Ted这辈子最喜欢的电影 Look, Stella, that is Ted's\nfavorite movie of all time.
他生病想家的时候看的是它 He watches it when he's\nhome sick with the flu.
他在秋天下雨的周日午后看的是它 He watches it on rainy\nSunday afternoons in the fall.
他连...平安夜看的也是它 He... he watches it on Christmas Eve.
无论生病或健康 开心或难过\nTed都在看星球大战 Ted watches Star Wars in sickness and\nin health, in good times and in bad.
你觉得在你的下半辈子\n可以一直伪装喜欢一部 Do you really think that you\ncan pretend to like a movie
实际上你很讨厌的电影吗? that you actually hate\nfor the rest of your life?
我可以 I do.
那么说 Ted是个幸运的人 Well, then, Ted's a lucky guy.
熊人 Bear.
好 我要说了 So, here's the deal.
April 你...见过Barney了吗? April, have... you met Barney?
你好 Barney Hi, Barney.
呃 你好 Uh, hello.
April刚下班 想挥霍一下多余的精力 April just finished her shift, and\nshe's looking to blow off some steam.
和你说句话好吗? Would you excuse us for one sec?
你想干什么? What are you doing?
你今晚对我这么好\n我想报答你 替你牵线 Well, you were so nice to me tonight, I\nwanted to return the favor, wingwoman-style.
正如我所说的 April Barney是... So, as I was saying, April, Barney...
是扬基队的二垒手新秀 is the Yankees' new second-baseman.
Barney April问在明天的比赛中\n能不能为她击中一个球 And Barney, April asked if tomorrow, you could\nhit a goal for her during the baseball match.
接下去就让你自由发挥了 You can't make this stuff up.
你俩玩得开心 So, you two kids have fun.
那么你 呃 打比赛时紧张吗? So are you, uh, nervous about the game?
我只会替对手紧张\n因为一旦我站到场上... Yeah, I'm nervous for the other team\n'cause when I step up to that plate...
听着 April 我不是扬基队的 Look, April, I am not a New York Yankee.
要是以前 \n也许我会继续撒谎说我是 但今晚不行 Any other night, I would probably try\nto convince you that I am, but I'm not.
我只是个恋爱中的普通人\n我爱上了刚才离开的女生 I'm just some guy who's in love\nwith the girl that just left,
但她永远不会和我有同样的感受 and she's never going\nto feel the same way.
所以我得走了 So I'm just going to go.
就这样了 And that was it.
我很抱歉 Barney I'm so sorry, Barney.
但你不能放弃 But you can't give up.
也许需要时间 但一旦\nRobin知道你已经洗心革面... You know, it may take some time, but\nonce Robin really sees the new you...
Barney 我家人去扬基体育馆领票时\n是报你的名字还是我的? Barney, um, when my family gets to Yankee\nStadium, are the tickets under your name or mine?
我的 记得让你的侄子带上棒球手套 My name, and tell your\nnephews to bring their mitts.
他即将进入一个全垒打满天飞的国度 They're going to be\nin foul ball country.
别这样 好吧\n关于Robin那部分无半字虚言 Come on. Okay, well, the Robin\nstuff was completely true.
去你的 Barney Damn it, Barney.
我说最后一次 I mean, for the last time, you can't,
你不能一边爱着Robin\n一边和这星球上的浪荡女挨个上床 you can't be in love with Robin and still\nbe sleeping with every bimbo on the planet.
你必须从中作出选择 You have to choose right now.
- 我选浪荡女\n- 什么? - I choose bimbos.\n- What?
嘿 Lily 浪荡女让我快活 Hey, Lily, bimbos make me happy.
浪荡女让我活得有生气 Bimbos make me feel alive.
浪荡女使我努力伪装成更好的人 Bimbos make me want to\npretend to be a better man.
Robin只是镜花水月 This whole thing with\nRobin was just a fling,
终有一天\n浪荡女还是我的心之所栖 but at the end of the day,\nmy heart belongs to bimbos.
不 不 你只是想保护自己\n因为你害怕受到伤害 No, no, this is just a defense mechanism\nbecause you're afraid of getting hurt.
你只是迷茫了 You're just confused.
我没有迷茫 Lily Oh, I'm not confused, Lily.
你知道谁真的迷茫么? You know who is confused?
浪荡女们 Bimbos.
她们最好骗了 They're easily confused.
这是她们让我喜欢的\n数以千计的优点之一 It's one of the thousand\nlittle things I love about them.
我喜欢她们空洞而信任的眼神 I love their vacant, trusting stares;
她们单纯而幼稚的头脑 their sluggish, unencumbered minds;
她们解不开的恋父情结 their unresolved daddy issues.
我爱她们 Lily 她们也爱我 I love them, Lily, and they love me.
浪荡女永远在那儿等着我\n无论环肥还是燕瘦 Bimbos have always been there\nfor me, through thick and thin.
大部分是燕瘦 Mostly thin.
我可撬不动那些大块头 你同意吧? B-man don't do thick crust. What up?
再见了 Barney See you, Barney.